How a breast cancer diagnosis deepened the bond between a mother and her son

This story is from The Pulse, a weekly health and science podcast.

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When Philadelphia Filmmaker Dave Kalema was growing up, he learned just how far a mother’s love could go. 

In the fall of 2007, Kalema was just 15 when he received some devastating news. Kalema was home for Thanksgiving break, in Northern Virginia, from boarding school. While the holiday is usually filled with traditional dishes and gratitude, for the Kalema family, this holiday would instead be accompanied by a serious conversation. 

A conversation about cancer. 

Kalema and his two brothers were told that their mother, Barbara Kalema, had been diagnosed with breast cancer and would soon begin chemotherapy. 

“And my mom spoke, and she said, ‘What your dad said is true. I’m gonna be okay. I’m fighting this thing. And I need you to know … I’m gonna be okay,’” Kalema said. 

Kalema knew his mother was strong, independent, and very reliable.  She was the heart of the family, often extending herself for her children’s well-being. But he wanted her to rest and get better. So Kalema prepared himself not to be a burden while his mother endured exhausting treatment.  

Kalema thought it was a great and foolproof plan —  to help his mom and stay out of the way. But his idea backfired when Kalema fractured his knee a few months later,  resulting in an expensive surgery and a long rehabilitation. 

“I’m 15. I’m hobbled. I’m five months post-surgery, and my mother’s going to chemo every week,” he said. 

In this audio story, Kalema tells us about his efforts to hide his rehabilitation from his mother and how her intuition, prevailing love, and support helped him heal and forge a stronger bond between them.

Barbara Kalema died in 2015 after enduring a second battle with breast cancer. Dave Kalema completed the 2024 Broad Street Run and dedicated the marathon to his mother.