‘Bedbug roulette’ comes to an end, as SEPTA removes buses with cloth seats

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Essential service workers and essential service seekers!

The transit gods have shown favor to you during these unfamiliar and trying times.

In an effort to maintain a clean and sanitized fleet of vehicles during the coronavirus pandemic, SEPTA has announced the removal of buses with fabric seats.

Those on the front lines of this pandemic can take a load off after a long day, with little worry of being on the menu for the bedbug buffet.

Tia Bray of North Philadelphia, a caseworker for the state who takes the bus to work, rejoiced at SEPTA’s decision.

“I’m really thankful they’re getting phased out,” said Bray. “I hope that the end is near as far as the cloth seats go … I wonder why they were ever cloth.”

SEPTA’s assistant general manager for operations Scott Sauer dropped the news during a coronavirus briefing by the city, as he announced a reduced schedule for city transit.

To be fair, the authority has been phasing out older buses with fabric seats as they upgrade their fleet with newer hybrid and electric models that have molded plastic seats, which are easier to clean. Newer buses they intend to keep are being retrofitted. Therefore, about 400 buses, out of a fleet of more than 1,400, are going out of service for the time being.

The buses will remain at depots, said SEPTA spokesperson Andrew Busch, not to be used “unless absolutely needed.”

Folks on Twitter chimed in with joy as the days of “guess the stain” will soon be no more. (“Guess the puddle,” however, is still on.)