Why making friends feels hard – and what Philadelphians do about it

Making friends can often feel a bit like dating – it can be awkward and vulnerable. And without the social infrastructure of school or work, it can be challenging to know where to begin.

A conversation that recently trended on X argued that making new friends outside the biggest cities in the U.S. is just harder. “Unless you’re from there, or you move right after college, everyone’s social circle is basically set to people they grew up with or worked with at 22,” one user wrote.

Even for those who have managed to develop connections, a survey by the American Friendship Project found that 40% of participants said they didn’t feel as close to their friends as they’d like. 

Time and again, research shows that community is critical to our well-being. Having close friends is linked to better mental health outcomes and longer life expectancy. So, how do we meet people if not at school or work? And once we make a connection, how do we get the most out of it? 

Guests: 

• Anna Goldfarb, author of “Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections” and the substack “Friendship Explained”
• Natalie Pennington, assistant professor of Communication Studies at Colorado State University and a co-leader for the American Friendship Project
• Brian Adoff, founder of Join Philly