What Katy Perry song best represents each Philly mayoral candidate?

On Sunday, the Seattle Seahawks will attempt to defend their NFL championship versus the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLIX. You might have heard about this football game. To some, it’s a big deal. 

At halftime of said athletic competition, pop-music phenomenon (and American treasure) Katy Perry will perform a few of her songs.

Since at least one member of the NinetyNine team is a Katy Perry enthusiast — “KatyCat” is my, er, the preferred nomenclature — we got to thinking: Which of Perry’s pop offerings most apply to each of Philadelphia’s mayoral candidates?

Here’s what we/I came up with (caveat: Song titles mesh better than song lyrics):

Lynne Abraham: Ok, the obvious choice here — considering the fact that Abraham spoke all about the power of women voters in her NinetyNine interview — is “California Gurls,” right? It’s almost too easy, come to think of it. So, let’s head over to the anthemic “Firework” as an alternate choice. “Maybe the reason why, all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road” better aligns with a widow’s desire to run.

Nelson Diaz: When Diaz launched his campaign at Tierra Colombiana earlier this month, he told reporters that “I will die fixing the school system.” It’s less morbid than it seems sans context; the former judge just meant he’d work tirelessly to fix public education in Philadelphia. So, his answer to Katy’s question-titled track “Who Am I Living For?” would, of course, be the children. “I can see the writing on the wall. I can’t ignore this war. At the end of it all, who am I living for?”

James Kenney: Well, this was the easiest one of the bunch. Considering what Johnny Doc said about the could-be candidate during last week’s will-he-run drama, “Dark Horse” is the best track for the councilman seen as being hemmed in by Abraham’s candidacy. “Make me your one and only, but don’t make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy.” (Fun fact: This would have been Ken Trujillo’s track, too.)

Doug Oliver: As the young upstart in the field (slated to launch his campaign next Saturday in Germantown), we gotta go with “Teenage Dream” here. “This is real, so take a chance and don’t ever look back.”

T. Milton Street Sr.: What can you say about Milton Street that hasn’t been said over the course of the past few decades? Milton is a pure Philadelphia character, a showman with a coffin prop and a force of nature with which to be reckoned. So, yeah, he is the “Peacock” of the field, colorful plumage and all. “Word on the street, you got somethin’ to show me. Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery.“

Anthony Hardy Williams: Some have said Williams is the front runner in the race. Whether they’re right is of less consequence in this context, as just the fact that it’s been bandied about is reason enough to slot Williams into the “Roar” slot. “I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter dancing through the fire, ’cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar.”

Epilogue

So, dear readers, what do you think? Feel free to suggest other songs from the Perry oeuvre if you think we missed one or six.

And, as a side note to the candidates: Feel free to use these, or any, KP tracks at campaign events covered by NinetyNine.

Finally, a prediction: Seahawks 27, Patriots 24 in an overtime game that nearly matches the electricity of the halftime show.