Tasting Tastykakes

So many things are uniquely Philadelphia and chief among them are Tastykakes, the snack food that some people swear-by in this city.

Having been raised in the land of Moon Pies and Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, I understand the lure of pure-sugar, which is why I’ve avoided the ubiquitous Tastykakes.

 “Who buys these,” I’ve often thought. They look like the local equivalent of Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Ho-Ho’s.

A vegetarian who grew up in Philly tried to assure me that Tastykakes are much better than other similiarly-packaged baked goods.

I didn’t believe her because my experience with friends who are vegetarian is that most have a serious sweet tooth. I figured it was safe to conclude that every bite of a Tastykake produces golden childhood memories for a native Philadelphian, especially one with a sweet tooth.

However, the news that the South Philadelphia institution is in serious financial trouble prompted me to do what I could to support the company and the workers it employs.

So, I bought Chocolate Junior, Tasty-Klair, Chocolate Kandykakes, Lemon Pie and Butterscotch Krimpets.

Afterall, with a name like Tastykake it’s got to be good, right?

Wrong!

So very wrong!

Possibly the best thing about Tastykakes is the promise on each package that reads in part: If not satisfied, full refund guaranteed…. 

That’ll be $7.45, please.