When any state lawmaker from Philadelphia shows visible signs of brain activity, this deserves support. So let me stand to laud state Sen. Anthony Williams for his latest gimmick, a statewide contest called There Oughta Be a Law, which invites voters to suggest ideas for new laws. A passing thought: What if a libertarian suggests that there oughta be a law mandating that politicians pass fewer laws? Brains might explode in Harrisburg.
That aside, Senator Williams’ contest got me thinking. I have some ideas, as I’m sure you do. I think there oughta be the following laws: No new digital platform or device that is Going to Change Everything can be introduced until we figure out how to use the last one. I mean, really, I need more time to figure out the mysterious appeal of FourSquare. Any professional sports league that robs its fans of x number of games due to a greed-inspired lockout or strike must, once play resumes, offer those fans free tickets to the same number of games. Another needed law:No movie sequels, unless the original film scored at least 60 percent “fresh” on the rottentomatoes.com meter. And no second sequel unless the first sequel scored better than 80 percent. Call that the Jason Bourne Exception.And a rider to that bill: director Michael “Transformers” Bay should be banned from making any movie, sequel or otherwise, until he takes a class in Remedial Storytelling 101, titled: Coherence, Why It Matters. There oughta be a few laws about people who makes laws: You know those politicians who declare themselves ready to negotiate, then in the next breath declares all the ideas cherished by his oponents to be “off the table.” They get a month in solitary, the only reading matter a transcript of all of Anthony Weiner’s tweets, texts and Facebook posts.
Also, any lawmaker who votes for a budget bill that results in people losing health coverage should automatically lose his or her government-funded health plan, too.
And, sorry, there oughta to be a law banning laws named after recently deceased children. These showy bills tend to be ill-considered.
Yep, there oughta be a law. These are a few I’d support. Which ones would you support? Let me know in the comments below; if you have a really interesting idea, we might call and ask you to spell it out on our NewsWorks Tonight radio show.