Being a coastal community, North Lower Bayheightsville has had its share of wealthy residents.
Unbeknownst to experts, this small seaside town is a vortex for some of the world’s dimmest rich people, being named the summertime hub for dumb millionaires by Forbes since the magazine’s founding.
July 4th 1936, Reginald Bayberry dressed up like Benjamin Franklin to educate local kids on great men of U.S. history. He was actually quite informative and entertaining, until he decided to recreate Franklin’s kite experiment with a freak thunderstorm. That day, the kids learned how long the stench of charred flesh lingers on soft surfaces after one is struck by lightning.
The summer of 1952 introduced Ed Riggety, an eccentric loner who enjoyed scaring children as they passed his house. He jumped out of bushes or dangled from trees and laughed as he made unsuspecting children cry. To escalate his attacks, he had his servants mold a cement cast around his body to create a “living” sculpture. Ignoring the pleas from his help, Ed’s unfortunate decision to stay in his masterpiece until it dried almost resulted in his demise. The neighborhood kids happened to plan a retaliatory strike against the old man and destroyed what they thought was an expensive piece of art. Everyone was horrified when they saw Ed Riggety at the bottom of the rubble, gasping from breath in his underwear. A truce was immediately called.
Back in 1985, Terrence Pinewald decided to invest his inherited wealth into building his own functional time machine, just like Doc Brown and Marty McFly’s. Convinced of his success, the high school dropout decided to take his feet of science for a spin, where he sped and crashed into Mrs. Navarro’s prized dogwood. Due to a head injury, he thought he made it to 1969, but Mrs. Navarro kindly offered to punch him back a few years for free.
Check back every Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the summer as It’s a Shore Thing follows the adventures of the Featherstone family as they run the family bed and breakfast in out-of-the-way North Lower Bayheightsville.