I’m not proud of this, but yes, I not so briefly considered hoarding bacon in my basement like some survivalist when I heard about the predicted global bacon shortage.
Because clearly the end is upon us, people. A world without bacon? Not for nothing, but that’s all the doomsayers had to say to get me to believe.
I’ve toyed with the idea of becoming a vegetarian. If it wasn’t for bacon, went my go-to line — usually as I was stuffing myself with some pork product — I could totally give up meat.
But I always had two excuses.
1- My carnivore husband.
2 – My pork addiction. Bacon. Pernil. Bacon-wrapped pernil — my Christmas Eve dinner specialty.
I’m not the only pork worshipper, of course. There’s an “I love Pork” Facebook page. Their motto: Stand by your pork.
There was no mention of the impending shortage on their page when I checked, so I’m guessing they’re busy stockpiling pork in a bomb shelter somewhere in the woods or something.
I wish them luck, and if someone wants to send me the coordinates of the bacon bunker, I’m all ears.