Christie’s free preening

    Chris Christie’s Dance of the Seven Veils seems destined to go down in history as a mere sideshow, much like The Donald’s absurd springtime tease, but, at least for now, the entertainment value of the Jersey guy’s wink-wink act is priceless.Just look at the way he’s playing the press corps. Why are so many Fourth Estaters so bewitched? Because they love it when someone new plays peekaboo. A lot of bored men go to strip clubs for the same reason.The parsing of Christie’s every utterance, the competition to divine his true intent, already borders on the farcical. Just check out these clashing headlines, all of which have surfaced in the wake of his Tuesday night speech at the Reagan Library.Bloomberg News: Christie Says He’s Not RunningThe Philadelphia Inquirer: Christie Sounds Like a CandidateThe Washington Post: Christie Run Even Less LikelyPolitico: Christie Leaves Door OpenNewark Star-Ledger editorial: We Finally Believe He Won’t Run

    New York Post: Chris Opens Door To Prez RunThe Los Angeles Times: Christie Sends Mixed SignalsAs I suggested this morning in my newspaper column: Perhaps, at this point, the Fourth Estaters who are entranced by this bright shining object, and perhaps the Republicans who are pining for yet another savior du jour, should just take the audio of Christie’s Tuesday remarks and run it backwards – like the way college students circa 1969 played Beatles songs backwards in the hopes of learning for sure whether Paul was dead. An embedded audio message would at least bring closure to this protracted roundelay.Short of that, Christie can vamp for another few weeks, until the primary filing deadlines begin to kick in. He’s not doing the current Republican candidates any favors by playing this game – the race stays frozen as lots of expectant donors stay on the sidelines waiting for clarity – but, hey, it’s great for the Christie brand. He gets to boost his pristine stock, raise money for the Jersey GOP, boost his name ID, dream of 2016.It’s all free preening, with no downside. The downside would come if he actually joined the race. He’d have to defend or explain all the moderate views that would shock the conservative base. In my newspaper column, I listed many of his shock-worthy stances, while inadvertently omitting one of the biggest items of all: Christie’s support for the Bowles-Simpson fiscal plan, which would close the budget deficit via a mix of spending cuts and (gasp) tax increases.The base would love that one. Imagine the debate question: “Gov. Christie, why should conservative voters support a candidate who wants to raise their taxes?” On the boo-meter, he’d probably fare even worse than the gay soldier.David Bowie once starred in a movie called The Man Who Fell To Earth. I doubt that Chris Christie wants to star in the remake…

    …But wait…

    The New York Post is at it again, with a new headline this afternoon: Christie Seriously Considering Presidential Bid After GOP Prodding

    You heard it there first! Or fiftieth!——-Follow me on Twitter, @dickpolman1

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