By: Emily Mercier

Emily Mercier — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:27:16 +0000

As someone living in a bad marriage, and having grown up among very UNhappily married parents, I am always curious about the various influences these relationships have on our health. News and research abound about divorce: its causes, available therapies to repair marriages and avoid divorce, affects on children, affects on health, etc. Has there ever been any respected or substantive research conducted on what happens to adults and children (and later on, adult children) of people who are miserable in their marriage and STAY TOGETHER? Has there been any study or assessment on the long-term impact of that kind of situation? Are there any case studies comparing children of divorced parents and children of parents who suffer daily and impose their misery on the family as a whole? Parents who teach their kids about all of the endless passive aggressive and useless ways to torment themselves and their spouses? People who never own up to their emotional responsibilities and set an example of misery and helplessness for their children (e.g. even if you are in the most miserable relationship and it has taken over your sense of yourself and caused tangible damage to your life and your kids, you still aren't "right" – as far as society may be concerned – to get out of it and maybe save yourself and others)?
Having lived with / near my parents for over 35 years, I just have to think that this is a situation worth learning more about. There is damage taking place that maybe should not be ignored or, worst of all, glorified as some sort of herald of martyrdom. My Dad prides himself on staying together for the kids when, truth be told, my sister and I have wished and wished for their parting for years.
Anyway….just wondering if maybe people who are married to someone they hate might have a few extra health issues, too…..
Thanks for your time and attention.
Best regards,
Emily

Comments on: Divorce affects long term health

By: Emily Mercier