Talking About Kids tips for April 9th's program, Step Families

Recognize that a stepfamily is born out of loss. It takes time for all family members to adjust.

Inform children, at a level they are capable of understanding, about the new person coming into your home well before he or she moves in.

The new or soon-to-be stepparent should move gradually into a relationship with stepchildren to establish trust and bonding.

The custodial parent should initially be the primary disciplinarian during the formation of a new family.

Both parents should agree upon discipline techniques, including household rules, and act as a team. This can help reduce the tendency of the child to play the parent and stepparent against each other.

When the newly-formed family feels comfortable, include children (both living in the home and visiting) in family meetings to participate in the formation of new rules (e.g., about eating, bedtime, chores), roles and rituals. Issues might include:

• differences in expectations for children living in the home
• noncustodial children visiting overnight or longer

Couples should plan to make time for themselves in order to strengthen their remarriage.

Biological parents and stepparents benefit from spending special time alone with each child.

Barbara Schwartz, MSS LSW
Alliance for Creative Development
Ph: 6l0-238-0400
E-mail: bjhaas.aol.com